RANDOM AWESOME: New York, They've Got You Covered

As I have often remarked since moving here over a year ago, New York City makes a great effort to entertain and occupy its masses. Never have I attended so many free events with open bars, all varieties of swag (free stuff), and amazing bands and artists that I would actually pay to see (and I'm pretty cheap so that's saying quite a bit). Anyway, there are few forms of entertainment that are at their core free---and you would think sex is one of them. Sadly, with the rising cost of healthcare, even that is no longer free. But wait, here comes New York City rushing to save the day! The New York City Health department has taken a step beyond all the other promiscuous big cities and branded their own free condom. The new, dare I say hipper condom was unveiled on Valentine's Day (also National Condom Day) at the Kenneth Cole store in Rockefeller center. The repackaged LifeStyles lubricated condoms features flashy black foil packets emblazoned with colorful motifs of Subway lines. I could make many an amusing quip about subway sex but it's just too easy. Why not just visit NYC Condom and find out where to get some? The NYC Condom is available all over the city at bars, hair salons, restaurants, city buildings and cafes. And did I mention that they are free? Not keeping it in your pants has never been so easy.