RANDOM AWESOME: Little Girls Rock the H*ll Out

I'm not into children, at all. I don't want to have any and I'm sorry if that makes me evil or somehow femininely deficient. But if I had a little girl I would be so down for this:

Willie Mae Mini Rock Camp for Girls promises to train little wannabe prissy wenches into little awesome chicks...little awesome chicks with guitars! Or drums, bass, and turntables! Founded in 2004, the camp is non-profit and "is founded on the proposition that music can serve as a powerful tool of self-expression and self-esteem-building for girls and young women, and can help combat racism and stereotypes by building bridges of communication and shared experience among girls from diverse communities." That's a tall order but they've been going strong all this time and a movie about the original Portland camp is coming out soon in theaters.

The summer program, a week long intensive is located (as if you couldn't have guessed) in Brooklyn. Oh wait, I almost forgot the best part --- the campers write their own songs too! This year promises grrrrl rockers/teachers like Kathleen Hanna (Bikini Kill) and Kimya Dawson (Moldy Peaches).

Like most people, I have a secret dream to be a part of a band, and even though my friends would guess I'd rather be in Danity Kane shaking it in hiphuggers and glitter, there is something to be desired about being in a crazy rock band screaming my head off. Sadly, the camp only takes girls between 8 and 18...my dreams go deferred once again.

MUSIC: Fall!

So I haven't posted in quite some time due to some extenuating circumstances, namely the asshole who screwed me over and made me almost homeless. But that's all over, and my ladies and I have great plans of making him pay...

Anyway, the weather is getting cooler and Summer is so over...womp womp, that sucks. The end of the summer is always (in the past couple of years) marked by the last party at McCarren Pool. Incidentally, that was my first blog post last year. This year was not nearly as magical: it rained, the headliners weren't exactly awesome. But I went mainly for Kid Sister, a.k.a. my music girl crush. She laid down her hits and shook her booty in some shorty short overalls. It was all I wanted to see and a little bit more. Those who were there might know what I mean...Santo Gold did an awesome turn, which revved me up for her performance earlier this week. Spank Rock also made a brief appearance, with Amanda Blank backing him up on the classic? nostalgic? Bump.

I finally made it backstage, which was a leaky tent propped up between some Port o' Potties and trailers. The best part was the free potato chips and getting out of the rain...

In between then and now some stuff happened, stuff I should have blogged about if I wasn't all down in the dumps. Can I remember it all? No. Will I try? No. It's old news. But the Pussy Party is pretty notable, only because it happens every month now and occasionally brings in some great DJs I want to see. My girls and I all attended the first Pussy Party, hosted by Roxy Cottontail and featuring Scottie B and Nick Catchdubs of Fool's Gold. And there were some others, but that's who I came to see. That was a long ass time ago but what I do remember was the usual suspects and good music marred by elbows in my back, tiny glasses of mixed drinks and a smoke machine.

Otherwise, the parties this summer were pretty unmemorable. It's time for an awesome Fall, time for some good shows. And it's time for people to stop playing like leggings and ribbed tights are pants. I am so tired of seeing everyone's crotches all over Williamsburg. So it's getting colder, everyone put your jeans on and we can all party together without all your vag hanging out. Brooklyn is not an American Apparel ad. Smell ya' later!

MUSIC: Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival

So, please bear with me, I know I'm late on this one...

The Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival is on it's 3rd year at the Tobacco Warehouse in Dubmo (this is my second year going) and seems to be limping like a three-legged dog at a frat party. Meaning, still fun but not too steady. The entertainment began with the insistent e-mails to pre-register, buy tix online, and donate money that filled my inbox to overflowing, but who couldn't use a reminder? And I have to insist here that if you are attending next year, you might as well donate $5.

New this year, the Brooklyn Bodega made an ambitous move from one day of music to 5 (count 'em 5!) whole days of Hip Hop immersion. Those days included a screening of Wild Style at Brooklyn Bridge Park, book signing at Powerhouse Arena and a Staxx Records 50th anniversary party. The June 21st event "Hip Hop Under the Bridge" featuring Uncle Ralph McDaniels was sadly cancelled, but most of the other events went off without a hitch...except for the actual festival. Am I building suspense over what the big problem was? I hope I am...

This year's BHHF featured performances by a literal drove of artists, including Large Professor, Consequence and headlined by Ghostface with a super-secret surprise guest. The day dawned quite brilliantly sunny, a beastly hot but beautiful cloudless day. Last year we were all huddled under the tent hiding from the rain, but this year was full of sunshine, everyone sat on the field soaking in the sun through their Timbalands. I, as usual, covered myself in SPF 60 sunscreen. So, the first thing I was looking foward to was the festival food, always overpriced but delicious. Blue Mountain Caribbean Delights was slated to provide Rotis and authentic food just like my mother used to but now refuses to make...but they were conspicuously absent. My disappointment over that was abated by the ever dependable Rice, a Thai fusion restaurant that supplies rice, kebabs, roasted corn and flavored lemonade. The one absence that threatened to ruin my day was that there was no beer!

As an event sponsored by the Brooklyn Brewery, usually they are the exclusive suppliers of beer, but it turns out that the Brewery did not file their papers in time to get permits. I don't consider myself a beer fanatic, but it was the perfect excuse to sit out on the grass with all my friends and indulge in a frosty one at 3 in the afternoon. This seems like a huge blunder to me, because no one could bring beer in either. I noticed several people, including some of my companions, making plans to leave, have a beer and come back later. However, around 5PM they implemented a no re-entry rule.

Anyway, irregardless of the red tape shenanigans it was great show for free. Between no Caribbean food and no beer, I was all set up to be cranky...but it was a beautiful day. I'm not much of a music critic, so I won't even go there...I know you're disappointed. I will say that I was so far away from the stage I couldn't see very much at all but it was worth it to sit on the grass. The musical acts ranged from hip hop and rap to jazzy and loungey. Finally, Ghostface took the stage with as many living members of the Wu Tang that could be crammed onto the stage. There was literally no room for anyone else after the super-secret surprise guest came on..it was Fat Joe, he appeared out of no where and it was very surprising. Everyone got to their feet and sung along with all the songs they knew...I never know much past early 90s one-hit wonders so I just waved my hands in the air when asked. Ghostface timed his performance to perfectly coincide with the sun setting behind the Brooklyn Bridge, or at least I like to think that he timed it that way. All in all another awesome summer Saturday in Brooklyn.

PARTIES: Girl Talk at Studio B

Last night Pittsburgh-born act Girl Talk (a.k.a. Gregg) performed his hits at Greenpoint's newest venue Studio B. Girl Talk is super hyped up, and after the show I know why. Studio B was packed to capacity with the 18 and over crowd (making a party 18 and up is a sure way to sell out a venue, especially when none of the bartenders check wristbands). Everyone was excited, drunk, pushing---there was actually no need to dance, just stand still and "everyone can move together", as Gregg often screamed over the crowd.

About 50 people were also on the stage, sweating and stripping down to "I've Got the Power" and Billy Joel's "Rich Girl" played under Lil' Wayne, Jay-Z and LL Cool J hits---all within 2 minutes. Girl Talk is cut-tastic pop, all your favorites chopped and screwed up together making for some awesome party tracks. It's hard to explain how fast each song is mashed together, check out his MySpace for a clue.

Which made it all the worse that I had little to no dance space! As my girl Leah oft remarked last night, Girl Talk would be great at a house party, where the keg and the cheap liquor keep flowing and the crowd is guaranteed to be at least over 20 (not 16 with a fake ID)...All in all, it was worth it just to see the spectacle and the crowd surfing. Oh and the fact that was completely lax security in the backstage area and we hung out there for a couple hours dining on free ham, Brie and those little boxes of SunMaid raisins I haven't seen since I was a kid.

PARTIES: DJ Premier at the Rub!

Williamsburg and Bushwick are chock full of crazy warehouse parties and bars and various other places to get drunk, krunk and whatever suits your fancy. Waaay down here in Southern Brooklyn, we have The Rub. This monthly hip-hop/soul/funk part-ay is a mainstay in Southern Brooklyn, headlined by DJs Cosmo Baker, DJ Ayres and DJ Eleven. It's about the only place, besides someone's under-sized apartment, to really get down.

So...then I want to somehow make people understand DJ Premier 's awesomeness and I can't. But Wikipedia always has the answer.

"Christopher E. Martin, better known as DJ Premier is a prominent Hip Hop producer and DJ, and the instrumental half of the duo Gang Starr, together with MC Guru.
Most consider DJ Premier to be one of the greatest producers in the history of hip-hop. Many see him as the single best."

Oh wait, and he's worked with EVERYONE...including Nas, Jay-Z, Biggie Smalls, Common, Mos Def, Fat Joe, Brand Nubian, Big Daddy Kane, Heavy D, Limp Bizkit(?). I said everyone.

And The Rub plus DJ Premier, WTF!?! On February 3rd, at approximately 1AM, DJ Premier took the turntables at Southpaw and made them his bitch. He played everything I wanted to hear, and everything I didn't know I wanted to hear and we all danced and danced and danced. And now we all know that when The Rub says guest DJ, we should all stand up take notice. And if you weren't there, it so sucks to be you right now.